Edward, Emmett and Jasper at the strip club
by lalliette
Summary: Edward Jasper and Emmett go to the Forks strip club... Jasper takes a video and sends it to Bella. Alice and Rosalie find out...


Edward, Emmett and Jasper at the strip club.

What they did for Edward's bachelor party.

"You told Bella your not taking me to a strip club" I growled at Emmett and Jasper.

"Well, we lied, and don't act like you didn't know. You were reading our thoughts all the time" Emmett laughed

"And calm down your like a turkey on thanks giving morning- I got that from Charlie." Jasper said peacefully and we all calmed down a little.

"Yeah sure Jazz, and how are you planning on controlling your hormones and your thirst, bearing in mind that you hunted three weeks ago. Now you want a dozen half naked girls dancing on your lap," I growled, heck am I the only one that's responsible around here.

"Calm down Edward, it was Emmett's idea and it's your last night of freedom" Carlisle was with them on this. Emmett and Jasper had already made bets on how long I would last in the strip club. Emmett is betting high, Jasper is saying that I would not last an hour.

We stopped outside Lollipop Lounge. I could already hear the perverted thoughts of people hoping to get lucky. Emmett got out of the front seat and Jazz and I got out the back. Carlisle stayed in the car.

"Why don't you come with Carlisle? I'm sure Esme won't mind." Emmett asked

"Um, um," Carlisle searched his mind for a good excuse "I have to help Esme revamp."

"What? Your bedroom?" Emmett laughed and slammed the door closed. I heard Carlisle silently sighing. It's amazing through how much we put him through, and he still loves us. And the black car was gone.

"Well, Edward are you going to come or are we going to ripe your legs off for you to go in?"

"I like my legs thank you Jazz" Bella isn't going to like this.

We walked to the door and saw Mike Newton and Eric standing outside too scared to go in, although they really wanted to. We got to the door and a man welcomed us. He looked gay, but is that just my opinion. He smiled at us, yes for definitely gay.

"Welcome gentlemen, I offer a wide range of services, what can I get you gentlemen?" _I'll do anything for the big one _he adds in his head.

"We want to see pole dancing and my brothers and I" Emmett gestured to Jasper and me "want lap dances."

"Our best girls are in tonight" _I'm also good if the big one wants one from me _"who would you like. I've got Tara, Paris, the twins…"

"I want them all!" Emmett simply said, " Why pick when you can have them all."

"Wow, can you handle that?"

"Don't you think I have the balls for it?" Emmett frowned

"Sure" _I know you have the balls big boy _"go ahead and have fun. Let me know if there is anything you want" Unfortunately I picked up the double meaning in that statement.

We walked into the club to see a stage with poles from the roof coming down and topless girls swinging on them. There was a bunch of chairs on one side and a table on the other side of the room. The club was rather empty; it was just the gay owner, the five stripers and us. I was frozen in place and I couldn't move.

"Close your mouth Edward, you don't want anything from here flying in." Emmett suggested.

"People are not going to believe this, I have to get this on camera" and Jasper got his cellphone out of is pocket and started filming.

Emmett dragged me to a chair and made me sit down "now be a good boy Eddy and sit here"

"Bella is going to freak when she finds out"

"She is not going to find out, trust me. Jasper will you stop filming this?"

"Hell no man. I'm going to use this at their next wedding." And he pointed the camera straight at us._ This is going to be black mail for the next two centuries_

A dancer wearing bunny ears walked to us as Lady Gaga's Love game started to play. She walked straight towards the chair wear I was sitting. Three other girls joined her. Emmett left me and went to watch the pole dancing. Jasper was running around trying to film Emmett and me at the same time. The girls started to move their bodies to the beat of the song. Next thing I know, the girl with the bunny ears is on my lap, all their thoughts were un-interpretable. Jasper as could be predicted was already running around without a shirt and the song wasn't even at the bridge. The girls were all over me. I tried very hard to block out the thoughts and fantasies in this.

_La la la la la la la la la _not even singing to myself in my head helped.

Holy crap! What the hell is Emmett doing on the table? Dancing? With the striper? Without clothes? In his g-string? At least he had he's that on. Well it looks as if the gay guy was enjoying the show. The striper stopped and turned to Emmett.

"Get off my stage! Ladies night is Thursday, its Wednesday if you forgot" she screeched.

"I couldn't help myself," Emmett said and he gathered his clothes. As soon as he had his pants on gain he walked to Jasper and me who was filming all the action in his boxers. "Ladies go easy on my brother here, he's still a virgin" _he's been one for the past hundred and ten years. _

"Speaking of virgins my virgin ears can't handle it, I'm leaving" and I got up. The dancers backed away.

"To do what? Oh yeah, to watch Bella sleep. Lots of action, your bound to get luck aren't you?" Emmett asked and he quickly left _that boy needs some rope. Yeah rope._

"Oh no"

"Where is he going, Edward?"

Emmett came back not with rope but with chain and a lock, oh and don't forget the fluffy pair of handcuffs "Now you have to stay." Emmett laughed. He chained me to the chair and pulled my pants and shirt off and left me in my boxers. "I am not loosing this bet Edward. Have fun Ladies, he's not going anywhere, are you Edward?" he said pinching my cheek. Jasper thought it was really funny and caught every moment on camera. The girls got back to business as if they were never interrupted.

Jasper was down to his underpants. I hope that he didn't take anything else off. Emmett was dancing around in his g-string again. I was relived that I had a girl's butt in my face because I real didn't want to see Jaspers butt in my face with a camera.

"I AM GOING TO KILL JASPER! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! IF WHAT I SAW IS TRUE. HE WONT HAVE A HEAD LEFT!" Alice is on her way

"IF YOU THINK JASPERS GOING TO GET IT, YOU SHOULD WATCH WHAT IM GOING TO DO TO EMMETT!" and so is Rosalie and they are mad

Shock crossed Jasper and Emmett's faces. I guess they heard what I heard. This was not going to look good. Emmett is in his g-string, jasper in his boxers and me in my boxers tied to a chair. Emmett and jasper made a run for it and tried to hide under the table -idiots, as if that will help.

"Oh right forget me!" I yelled, "Get off of me you whore!" and the dancers got the message and hurried away. "Let us in you faggot, our husbands are in there!" Rose shouted at the owner. They were at the door already

"I'm a sorry ma'am lady night is tomorrow, I can't let you in."

"Forget it!" and Alice pushed past the gay man into the club.

"Alice! Rose! I'm here," I shouted as soon as they were both in the club. All the people got the hint that they should go away and leave us alone.

They hurried to my side and broke the chains and the fluffy pink handcuffs. "Thanks" but they were already at the table.

"I'm counting till three and if you are not out from under the table you won't have a head," Rosalie growled

"Jasper, do something. Calm them down." Emmett mumbled

"What do you think I'm doing? Why do you think we still have heads?" Jasper said as he and Emmett crawled out under the table with their clothes and Jaspers phone under their arms.

_Rosalie is going to rip me to pieces. She's going to think that her lap dances aren't good enough_ Emmett thought

_Oh shit, oh shit I must delete the video. Oh shit, oh shit, Alice is going to kill me. Oh shit, oh shit._

Alice snatched the phone. She and Rosalie watched the video. Their eyes widened as they watched.

_Oh shit, oh shit._

They gave the phone back to Jasper. "Delete it. Bella will not find out about this." Alice said and for once I agreed with my pixie sister.

Jasper took the phone and pressed a few buttons. "Um… Guys… I'm sorry. Edward… Um"

"Spit it out Jasper!" Alice read my mind.

"I didn't mean to, it was an accident…" he didn't get to finish sentence. I knew what he had done.

He had sent the video to Bella. I was out the door in a hundredth of a second. Was I going to be in time to explain to her what had happened? Was she going to be angry? Yes she was going to be. Maybe I could get to the phone before she does. Maybe she won't get it because she will be sleeping. Maybe the network will be slow. Maybe she will let me explain. I couldn't stop thinking about this as I ran. I turned into her street, I was outside her window and it was open. Great she got the video. I jumped into her room through the window.

As I looked up I saw her sitting on her bed waiting for me with her cellphone next to her. She looked really angry.

"I can explain..." I started

"I should hope so. Its not everyday that I get a video from Jasper that shows my fiancé being on the receiving end of a lap dance."

"They dragged me there, and I wanted to leave but they tied me to a chair… oh I'm sorry Bella, please don't be angry with me" I pleaded

"Edward I'm not mad at you" she leaned forward and kissed me. That's Bella, you never know what to expect. "I wont get mad, I'll just get even."


End file.
